Protocol, Perameters and perimeters
by angelicalangie
Summary: When Chakotay confronts Kathryn descisions are made. What becomes of the officers under a pale moonlight and what is their final fate?


Disclaimer. Please do not sue me as I have no money and am in fact a desperately poor student who won't make any money from this at all. Paramount and UPN own the show not I. The characters just needed airing and letting out of the box!  
  
Any response and encouragement is greatly appreciated. Constructive criticism is welcomed too.  
  
This is my first ever attempt at fan-fiction and has not in any way been beta'd. Please be gentle.  
  
Dedication. This is for Diana as she told me two years ago to finish it and put it up for her birthday.  
  
Thank you's to Shadowfigment of STF, and Hathor (Becky) and Melissa for reading some of my stuff and saying they liked it. I appreciate it.  
  
There may be more to follow. I haven't decided.  
  
Protocol, parameters and Perimeters.  
  
By Angela J. Filewood.  
  
It had been a more arduous day than Kathryn Janeway dared to acknowledge. Yet, in a strange way she did by the constant rubbing of her neck as she sat at her desk in her ready room.  
  
The negotiations with the Barterians had been long by anyone's definition, but she wouldn't give up. Chakotay had, as ever, been a great help just because he was as supportive as ever. Kathryn looked at the remaining wishes of the Barterians. A few different types of metals almost as common as water in the alpha quadrant, but as they had found early on in their excursion, anything once considered common now had valuable commodity tagged to it.  
  
She continued scanning through the.list until she got to the rewards section. Anything pleasant in this quadrant was viewed with the greatest of trepidation, but still everything they'd been asking for she could give, so she decided to investigate deeply before accepting any offers.  
  
The pictures of the planet looked beautiful and it was beautiful vista to behold. The temptation levels in her were quite high, but still there were a w people she needed to consult before making her final decision. Wrestling with the way she felt about offers like this, she called Commander Chakotay to talk about it.  
  
"You requested me, Captain?" He inquired as he walked in to the room, the door sliding closed behind him.  
  
"Yes Commander, it seems the Barterians are willing to do more for us than to provide us with our necessities." At this his eyebrows rose upwards and look of distrust coloured his eyes.  
  
"How benevolent of them." He said evenly as Janeway next to him placing her hand on his arm.  
  
"If they are being as sincere as they make out it would be a good opportunity for shore leave." She stated waiting for his answer with a childlike eagemess.  
  
"We have been duped before." He said without feeling and Janeway took this as a sign of worry.  
  
"What is it Chakotay?" A worried tone inadvertently taking over her voice.  
  
"Back on New Earth you set limits and for me a few perimeters, you said to distance yourself and to keep protocol, but how am I supposed to keep that up if you can't yourself? You're always placing your hands on my chest, on my arms. Most people only ever do this in a relationship with the other person. So either keep to the 'protocol', the shield behind which you hide behind or let yourself be the woman you're afraid of being, but please do not torture me with hints of what might never be."  
  
He rose from the couch and looked back at his surprised Captain. "I think it would be a good idea to talk to Tuvok about security issues and then we'll make the decision later." Turning on his heel he walked out of the ready room and onto the bridge.  
  
The remainder of the day went by in a blur, a haze of surprise and bewilderment. The question raising its ugly head was; 'What had made him that bothered so suddenly?' Suddenly she thought of an answer as she was handing over bridge duty. "Long days." She whispered to herself.  
  
"What was that Captain?" The young lieutenant asked  
  
"Nothing, just a book title I feel like reading, that's all." She said quickly trying to cover up her faux pas and moved gracefully off the bridge.  
  
After what felt like eons Kathryn made it to her quarters and sighed in relief. She crossed the room in a few confident strides as though to make herself realise that she was still capable of such a thing. The earlier questions had given way to new ones of 'How can I cope with this?' He was certainly right; how did she expect him to maintain self-control when she barely had any?  
  
The thought plagued her all the way through to her eventual sleep where, in her minds eye she was replaying every encounter she had ever had with him. By morning, she realised that he was not only right about everything he had said but also a few of the things he had unwittingly implied.  
  
She thought quie to herself that now, six months after receiving that letter from Mark, maybe she too should get on with her life. Maybe the placing of her hands on Chakotay was a subconscious show of this, of the way she felt, that, until the night before; she had either been incapable of dealing with, or understanding. Still she felt overwhelmed. She would put this out of her mind until she had cleared the notion of shore leave with Tuvok. Thinking about last night, the only one thing it had done was raise more questions than it had answered any.  
  
Tom Paris and Harry Kim was in the Mess-hall eating some kind of goop that Neelix had served up that moming as breakfast.  
  
"You know Harry - it just gets worse every morning." Tom mused.  
  
"No kidding! I swear I saw something exactly like this in the waste system!" Harry stated eyeing his 'food' suspiciously.  
  
"I'd bet it's the same stuff." Tom joked to the dismay of his friend.  
  
"Did you hear about the state our good Captain was in after talking to Commander Chakotay yesterday?" Harry mentioned, quickly changing the subject.  
  
"How could I not, I was still on the bridge. Something happened. He, being our Commander, walked out looking rather angry, a rare state according to B'Elanna, and she never came out until his shift was over and obviously felt safe. According to Ensign Ashbey, she looked rather disturbed." He said, looking rather worried.  
  
"How sweet the start of an on-board romance between our XO's." Harry said quietly.  
  
"What makes you say that?" Torn said feeling dense.  
  
"Quite easily. Have you ever noticed the way she places her hands on Commander Chakotay in comparison to the rest of us? She jokes a lot with him and the way, in the last few months, I have caught her staring at him." He made quite a stable argument and Tom now felt quite bemused at not having put it together himself.  
  
"Good argument. You would have made a scary 20th Century lawyer Harry."  
  
"Shush, here he comes." Harry whispered conspiratorially.  
  
"Ensigns, I've just heard rumours concerning the physical condition of the Captain. I think you know what I'm talking about, Tom." He said, trying to get Tom to tell him everything.  
  
"She didn't look too good when she came out of her ready room, and many people are thinking it's your fault, as you were the last person to talk to her, to our knowledge." Tom finished. Looking at Chakotay, Tom could see the guilt written over his face and for this, Torn felt truly felt grateful not to be in the older mans shoes.  
  
"Thank you, Tom." He turned and left the mess haIl, walking past B'Elanna without even seeing her.  
  
"Okay Tom, what did you say to him?' B'Elanna said in her "tell me or die" manner.  
  
"The truth about the rumours this morning." He innocently stated, but looking at B'Elanna, th w nhviniislv th wrnnri nsw  
  
"Great, he's not going to be in a good mood when I tell him we're behind schedule with the warp core repairs. Good job Tom." B'Elanna said sarcastically as she walked away.  
  
"Damned if you do, damned if you don't." Harry said quietly in sympathy.  
  
In the conidor Chakotay was walking faster than usual on his way to the turbo lift, when he heard B'Elanna's voice.  
  
"Chakotay, wait up, please," B'Elanna ran full pelt to catch up. "I have some bad news about the warp core. We'll be in orbit for five more days. Repairs are going slower than expected." She finished, feeling nervous of her long-time friend.  
  
"Okay I'll tell the Captain." He said, distractedly. B'Elanna felt for him, but realised also that he needed to be as alone as he could be. Chakotay walked into the turbo lift, feeling a certain degree of anxiety about seeing Kathryn, but deep down he knew he'd said what needed to be said.  
  
The turbo lift opened onto the bridge where the Captain sat intrinsically swept up in the PADD of reports she had to read. Chakotay looked at the woman with whom he was so deeply in love and wondered just how intrinsically swept up she was. He walked across to the chair at which he sat and promptly sat down in it.  
  
"Morning Captain." He spoke quietly. He waited what must have been at least three minutes before she replied.  
  
Morning Commander." She said, in her most quiet and distracted tones. Chakotay had to wonder just how distracting that report was or if had been his statement the previous day. He looked up and realised she was rising from her chair.  
  
"Commander, may 1 have a word with you?" She said, in her most business- like voice.  
  
"Yes Captain." He felt more worned about what could be about to happen. He moved from his chair and into her ready room, her tenitory.  
  
"Commander, I have just finished reading Tuvok's report. I asked for one after our last talk. I hope you don't mind me taking the liberty, but I thought it prudent. Detailed within his report, he writes that it should be an easily safeguarded place whilst we are there.  
  
'We will be able to have 24 hour security details on hand and will have sufficient numbers to deal with any problems that may arise." She finished looking at Chakotay.  
  
"Looks like you have all the bases covered," he said finally. "I'll get the duty roster finalised," he said evenly. "Anything else?" He gently probed.  
  
"No." Came her straight reply. He knew it was useless trying to get anything about the previous day out of her. She seemed so unflappable, especially about what he'd said, he was worried, but wasn't about to let it show though.  
  
"You're dismissed, Commander." She said, looked at her computer whilst Chakotay walked out alone, looking perturbed by her behaviour. He'd said the wrong thing yesterday. Either drop protocol, or reinforce it. That's what, in essence, he'd said.  
  
In her ready room, Kathryn Janeway was cursing herself for being so formal, but, for her, that would be the way it was going to stay until she knew where she stood on the subject of any relationship.  
  
She saw out most of her duty shift alone until half an hour before the end, when Tuvok came to her ready room.  
  
'Yes Tuvok?" She asked, warmly welcoming her long-standing friend and most trusted advisor.  
  
"You have barely been on the bridge both today and yesterday. This would be an indicator that something is disturbing you." Tuvok stated, sta at his Captain pointedly.  
  
'There is nothing wrong, Tuvok. I assure you of that." She lied  
  
"Your behaviour is pointing to the contrary." He replied evenly and calmly.  
  
"Is this anything to do with ship's secu She spat back at him.  
  
"Not really, but your behaviour is distracting the crew." He replied seating himself in front of her.  
  
'What does it have to do with them?" she volleyed back, indignantly.  
  
"Quite simply they can tell that something is going on and they are being left in the dark. This indicates, to them, distrust."  
  
"Chakotay told me to either stop hiding behind the word protocol, or uphold it myself in relation to our 'relationship'." She finally blurted after not being able to keep it in anymore.  
  
"I see he may have a point. You often hold people away from yourself; it would be a good thing to re-evaluate your own protocols." Janeway sat listening to his cool voice telling her that, in some ways she, the Captain, was wrong.  
  
"Thank you, Tuvok." He got up from the chair in front of her desk where, for the last half- hour, they had conversed. She sighed and looked at the stars and planetscape in front of her. Realising she wouldn't rest until it was figured out, she went to the holodeck and programmed in the Tennis court where she had learnt to play, and kept playing until near-exhaustion took over.  
  
As she walked out of the holodeck, she realised she desperately needed to read transcripts of everything she'd ever said in her log reports about Chakotay. Affiving at her quarters, she commanded the computer to find all instances pertaining to Chakotay in her personal and Captain's logs, and to put them together in chronological order. She also commanded that they be put in to PADD's as she changed into casual-wear.  
  
She sat down feeling a heavy sense of trepidation at the possibility of finding the inevitable. As she continued reading, she found, with a heavy heart, that her feelings showed through in all senses and logs, that by not acknowledging them, she was hurting not only Chakotay, but herself too.  
  
Gradually falling asleep with four hours to her duty shift beginning, her mind matched the way she felt. In the dark dreamscapes, she heard Chakotay's voice screaming her name in desire and in fear of losing her. Over all, guilt prevailed and Kathryn knew deep down what she had to do. She had to find a way of telling him how she felt, and that the word protocol need never raise its ugly head again.  
  
Waking up, she felt the PADD in her hand and as she looked at it, she realised she hadn't finished reading the remainder of the logs. As she dressed, she decided that she would take them with her.  
  
Chakotay arrived on the bridge early, deciding it would be a good idea to welcome his Captain. Settling at his seat he began looking at what had happened du the previous night's shift. Looking up, he saw his Captain walking on the bridge, waving his hand towards her chair; she smiled, prompting Tuvok to think they were now a couple.  
  
Kathryn Janeway sat at the command centre of the ship and began re-reading her logs, when the Pnme Minister of Barteda asked for a private Comm. channel with the Captain. Feeling trepadated, she agreed leaving her PADD in her chair as she left.  
  
Feeling the intense turn of curiosity over what she had been reading, he picked up the PADD and began reading himself. As time went on, he learnt all the secret feelings she tried to hide from herself. and failed. Thinkina to himself, he concluded that she had w them down instead.  
  
Chakotay decided that after reading this, he ought to admit to the gross invasion of privacy that he had committed and went to her ready room, PADD in hand.  
  
"Commander? To what do I owe this pleasure?" Surprise colouring her voice.  
  
"To the PADD you left out on the bridge." He said feeling as though he'd laid down the win fling hand in a long game of poker.  
  
"Ah ... they're a collection of... of."  
  
"Of your feelings for me." He tried, finishing off her sentence.  
  
"No. Personal and Captain's logs." She finished off her sentence formally, feeling let down by his curiosity and her own stupidity at forgetting to take the PADD with her.  
  
'What did the Prime Minister want, anyway?" He said, swiftly changing the subject  
  
"He wanted to invite me and my senior officers to a formal ball. Apparently, they are very similar to Earth's Regency period in costuming. They do, however, have a modern edge to them, so be careful." She finished.  
  
"Was that an order, Captain?" He asked barely surprised.  
  
"No, but you can take it as one." She said quickly.  
  
"Why do you hide the way you feel, Captain?" He was curious and it was better to ask, than to keep his curiosity roped in. He'd learnt that too long ago.  
  
"They're just..." She left off without knowing exactly what to say.  
  
"Just what? Words you wish not to accept. Something too much, a step too far. Just as though you're cheating on Mark? Kathryn! He cheated on you! My Gods, he's married! It's no longer an excuse and if you say the welfare of the ship, I'll hold a ship-wide poll to see if they mind, so don't hold yourself over on their behalf. Take a leaf out of their beliefs. Take a leaf out of their books. They're getting on with their lives. Please don't leave me hanging, either tell me to go on with my life without you or accept you need more than just friendship." He never meant to let self- control escape him, but he had and if she never talked to him again, at least he'd know he had tried.  
  
"I think I need to think over what you have said. Oh, and implement the roster ftr shore leave starting from this evening." She thought successfully that he would leave her alone after that.  
  
"I'll leave this with you." He simply said, as he turned on his heel and resumed duty on the bridge whilst Kathryn Janeway sat trying to figure a few things out of a personal nature, whilst looking over the next systems they would be passing through.  
  
For B'Elanna, the duty shift went quickly, often overhearing comments and rumours, mostly concerning the way the Captain and Commander were behaving towards each other.  
  
Looking at her engine room, she saw just how efficiently repairs were taking effect. Looking at es she saw two days off of their initial revised estimates. Feeling proud of her teams, she decided for a couple of hours she would relieve her duties to Carey. He was capable of dealing with engineering for a couple of hours whilst she gave the good news to the Captain herself.  
  
Walking down the corridors of Voyager, she almost didn't see Tom Paris walking towards her.  
  
"Hey B'Elanna, what's the problem?" He said, instantly worried about his lover.  
  
"I need to see the Captain to tell her repairs will be finished earlier than expected." She said distractedly.  
  
"Alright, but come by my quarters and make this conversing quick. We have to make planet fall in the next hour, okay?" It was a rhetorical question, but B'Elanna's sense of rhetoric had always been abysmal.  
  
"Okay." She said running in the opposite direction.  
  
Five minutes later, she made it to the bridge, and as she got there, Chakotay looked up from his position, studying alterations to the tactical station that Tuvok had made.  
  
"B'Elanna, you're meant to be on shore leave, what are you doing here?" Surprise tinged his voice as B'Elanna walked past him.  
  
"1 have to see the Captain about engineering." She replied as she used the door chime.  
  
"Come!" The Captain commanded from within, B'Elanna didn't hesitate to enter  
  
"Captain, before I join Tom on shore leave, I would like to tell you that the crew deserves some recognition down in engineering. They pulled an all- nighter and have eliminated two days off of the revised estimates."  
  
'Well done, B'Elanna, I'll think about some recognition." Kathryn said, looking out of her view-port.  
  
"Captain, do I have permission to speak freely?" B'Elanna asked.  
  
"Huh, of course you do." She replied, distracted by her own inner workings.  
  
"Something is bothering you, and if the rumours are true, it's the Commander." B'Elanna stated bluntly. Kathryn looked at B'Elanna, pained.  
  
"How many people know?" She demurely asked.  
  
"Most of the ship suspects something." B'Elanna replied, feeling guilty.  
  
"Oh," Was all Kathryn could reply. B'Elanna felt guilty for prodding the sensitive subject. "Do I really expect others to blindly follow protocol when I don't?" She asked.  
  
"Not all of the time, but with Chakotay, a lot of the time." She stated.  
  
"So I'm being unfair to him?" She said evenly.  
  
'To him, to yourself, to a lot of people. By not giving yourself a chance to have an entire life on a ship. I know what is going on between you and Chakotay. He told me when you came back from New Earth and I realised it was a matter of time before he got to this point." She laid it all on the line; she wouldn't have been much of a friend if she hadn't.  
  
"I hid behind protocol because of Mark, but he's married now. Then I made it for the good of the ship. Am I deluding myself?" She asked.  
  
"No, you're not deluding yourself, just hiding. I know that he left you alone because of your devotion to Mark and then when the letter came, he left you alone with your grief. I think he now feels it is time for you to have moved on. If he asks you when you calm down, what would your answer be?" B'Elanna finished. Kathryn looked at B'Elanna and thought for a minute.  
  
"Good point. Thank you, B'Elanna." She said, by way of a polite dismissal.  
  
"Anytime, Captain." B'Elanna walked out of the ready room leaving Kathryn to the decision of whether or not to go ahead with the relationship.  
  
"Just why am I hiding?" She said looking at her chronometer. She saw that her duty shift had long ago ended. She looked at her shore leave roster slot, it started in an hour, at which she remembered the formal ball she was meant to attend. Rising from her seat, she went to her quarters to get ready for the ball.  
  
The ball was a wondrous sight to behold and Chakotay now understood why Kathryn was so enamoured with this style in history. Looking at the women's dresses, the last thing he could imagine was Kathryn in these clothes, not even on the holodeck, for she was too militarian in her style.  
  
He didn't have to wait long to see her in the planet's customary dress. Her dress was floor length and off the shoulder, half of her hair was pulled into a bun, whilst the other half was in AYtP.nsinns that w c I w nd flni h tlnwn h h Th drAss wa hlx with  
  
flecks of silver thread running through, refracting light. The bodice was tight, but the sleeves and bodice covering material was slightly drooping around just below where her Basque began. Her skirt, though not stiff, kept it's shape through the pleat-stitch joining it to her bodice.  
  
She wore no jewellery, yet to everyone there and particulady Chakotay, she was by far the best jewel in the galaxy.  
  
For Chakotay, looking at her pained him. He had done no wrong, yet here she was, torturing him by giving him her answer and dressing so seductively.  
  
Kathryn Janeway looked down the stairs at the fifty or so people of whom had noticed her moving swiftly, yet gracefully. Wondering if the dress had been a good idea, she spied Chakotay, looking as if someone had winded him, she decided it had been a very good idea.  
  
For Kathryn, this was her way of giving Chakotay the answer he so richly deserved. Her actions would prove to be the defining point of her plan, but if all went well, Chakotay would have no doubt as to how she felt towards him.  
  
Moving across the room she made eye contact with Chakotay and made her way towards him. As she was about to reach him, the Prime Minister, Tototha, made his move on her, ruining her plan.  
  
"Captain, you needn't have made the effort just for me!" He shrieked, as he exclaimed in delight. Grabbing her hand, he twiried her onto the dance floor, they began to dance. Frantically, she turned her head in Chakotay's direction. Her eyes fell on her first officers' face. An angry expression had befallen his enchanted eyes as he moved off to the stairs, and the exit. Feeling desperation well up inside of her, she excused herself and ran out after him, asking a guard where Chakotay had gone.  
  
"I'm sorry." The guard replied, looking amused.  
  
"I'm running out of patience, mister!" She said with her hands on her hips.  
  
"I'm vowed to secrecy." He said, as Kathryn raised her fist he began laughing and pointed in the direction of the beach.  
  
"Right, thank you." She said, raising the skirt to prevent it from dragging on the ground, she began running towards the beach where she found her first officer sitting on the sand.  
  
"You'll get sand in your shoes, Chakotay." She said, good humoured.  
  
"Don't really care." He said sounding like a petulant child.  
  
"Chakotay, what have I done to hurt you?" She said, worriedly.  
  
"You walked in tonight, all seductive and looked me straight in the eyes as though you were going to dance with me and perhaps tell me something, well I guess you did, because you started dancing with Tototha and not me." He said, getting up from where he had been sitting and moved further down the beach.  
  
"I never meant to dance with him, he was the one who grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor. The only person I wanted to dance with was you." She tried explaining, but he wasn't really listening. He had, however, stopped walking and was now looking at the sea and the two full moons in the sky.  
  
Kathryn had had enough. She moved to be in front of Chakotay and looked him in the eyes. Placing a cold hand on his shoulder, she tip-toed upwards and kissed him lightly on his lips. As she retumed to her normal height, he grabbed her around the waist and lowered his head to meet her mouth and gave her a long passionate kiss.  
  
"What took you so long?" Chakotay asked mischievously and Kathryn laughed with an ease as yet inexperienced before.  
  
I don't think I know." She said honestly. He looked at her, feeling like a young boy who had just got his piece of the cake and was allowed to eat it too.  
  
"Nice dress." He said, finally after a protracted amount of time.  
  
"Thank you, commander; you don't look too bad yourself."  
  
"What made you change your mind?" Chakotay asked, wondering if he was overstepping the mark.  
  
"Reading my personal and Captain's logs, also a talk with a certain fiery engineer." She said looking him in the eyes.  
  
"Remind me, when we get back to Voyager, to thank B'Elanna." He joked. "Don't worry, when she finds out, she'll take it as thanks enough." Kathryn finished.  
  
Chakotay changed direction leading towards the lush greenery that lay beyond the sand. Taking Kathryn's hand, he pulled her along with him.  
  
'What are you doing?" She asked innocently.  
  
"Not much really," At which, he sat down by a tree not so dissimilar to a palm and pulled her down too. Kneeling she looked at him. "Sit here." He patted an area of ground in front of himself.  
  
"Alright." With that, she sat down, her back towards, but not leaning against him. His arms gently encircled her waist and she sighed in contentment as he pulled her into him.  
  
"Happy?" He gently whispered into her ear as she sighed again.  
  
"Yes, very, sorry." She replied, confusing him.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I'm sorry for not doing this sooner." She said, feeling every word.  
  
"I'm not worried; at least I got to see you in this dress. Even if you had said you never wanted a date with me, at least I would have had the mental image of you in this dress." He said, feeling confident.  
  
"I wouldn't have worn it."  
  
"What!?" He said; feeling stunned.  
  
"I was out to impress you and to seduce." She said, feeling like top dog.  
  
'Well, uh, thank you." Was all he could sputter out.  
  
"I think I did a good job, don't you." Kathryn threw back.  
  
"Yes, I think so." Chakotay gently replied, looking down at the mischievous woman before him and felt the feeling of love surround him and her like a warm comforter.  
  
"It's a beautiful night tonight." Kathryn said eventually, breaking the silence.  
  
"It's a romantic night tonight. Look at the way the light refracts on the ripples of the sea It looks like a thousand candles." He said in reply.  
  
"Yes." She said, sleepily resting on his shoulder and gently drifting off to sleep. Chakotay felt at peace with himself; he finally had the one woman he felt he could trust. Unlike his previous loves. He looked at Kathryn and gently pulled a strand of her hair behind her shoulders and looked skyward, thanking the spirits that had led him to her. Resting his head against the tree behind him, he fell asleep.  
  
Hours later, the crew of Voyager, led by Tuvok, tried to communicate with the Captain and Commander.  
  
1 think they fell asleep down there." Tom said to the crew on the bridge.  
  
"The likelihood is their communicators are failing to respond, due to an anomaly in their vicinity." Tuvok tried to quell the mind of Tom Paris.  
  
"Tom, go down to the planet and retrieve the Captain and Commander." Deep down, Tuvok knew that Tom was probably ght. He had seen the Captain and Commander leaving the formal ball early the previous night.  
  
Beaming down to the planet, Tom found himseff by the sea. Reminded of childhood visits with his mother, he was rendered still for a few moments. Walking along the beach, he saw no sign of his Captain and Commander.  
  
A sudden glimpse of something black drew his eyes to where his Captain and Commander lay still, sleeping. He moved closer and after a few moments, decided the best thing to do would be to wake up the gently sleeping Captain.  
  
"Captain Janeway." He gently spoke to wake her up.  
  
"Hmmm, oh, Tom." She said, gently coming around to the land of the waking. "Uh, we'll both be up in a few moments." With further clearing thoughts she added "Don't breath a word of this to anyone or you'll face the rest of the journey in the brlg." She sternly warned.  
  
"Aye Captain, see you on the brldge." He said, running off into the distance.  
  
With one eye open, Chakotay looked at Kathryn in mock disappointment, "You didn't have to be so stern and anyway, who's to say that he'll be able to keep it to himself?"  
  
"Everything says it."  
  
"I'll take you at your word, okay?" Kathryn laughed.  
  
"Or you'll take me at my work, I am the captain after all." She said in jest, whilst Chakotay looked at her smiling at his loves mock egocentric attitude.  
  
"Aye, aye captain. We'd better be getting back to the ship." As he got up, a thoughtful look passed over his face, worrying Kathryn.  
  
'What is it, Chakotay?" She asked.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You looked thoughtful. What was it?" She asked again  
  
"Oh, I was thinking we could talk about us over dinner tonight. We'll both be off duty." He said  
  
"I'd love to." She said, smiling.  
  
The day had tumed into one of administration and one with its peculiar difficulties for both of them. But for both of them, there was one effective stress reliever. The thought of spending the evening in each others company.  
  
The first of the pair off duty this night was Kathryn. Walking into the turbo lift, she began to assess the time she had left until the dinner date they had at 8.30 that night.  
  
Lying in her bath, although not as luxurious as the one Chakotay had built on New Earth, she began to relax and the tension that had built up in her throughout the day began to gently ease away, until her eyes began to drop and she fell asleep.  
  
Half an hour later, she awoke to find the water in her bath was now cold and that she was beginning to run out of time. She rose out of the bath and gently placed her feet one after the other, on the dry floor beside the bath. Grabbing a towel off the rack where it was stored, she moved to the mirror.  
  
Still with the extensions in her hair, she gently tugged, pulled and styled her hair into a framing mass of curls. Looking at herself in the mirror, she realised that she was kind of glowing in the anticipatory feeling of a good dinner and conversation.  
  
A few hours later, she realised that her instinct had been right. As she lay in her bed, she felt like a teenage kid again. She could still feel Chakotay's fingers on her, and in her hair, along her mouth, on her chin, her shoulders. alona her back and eventually, her waist. She remembered the  
  
way it felt to kiss him. He was like no other man. Always patient, gentle and slow in the way her kissed her. She knew she would never love another man. Drifting into a complete and restful sleep she gently called his name into the night.  
  
Through the following months, their love, passion and commitment to one another grew and established roots into their lives. The rest of the ship knew what had happened on the planet that fateful night, partly through Tom's incessant gossiping and by the Captain and Commander's behaviour towards one another.  
  
They managed to build a solid relationship amongst the many skirmishes with small groups of unknown aliens, but with the addition of Seven and the knowledge held within her Borg improved brain, it wasn't difficult to extricate themselves and managed to keep on with their journey.  
  
A year to the day of Kathryn's acceptance of her feelings, fate found them enjoying a late night dinner in her own quarters. The intimacy she felt between them was almost like a solid object, but it was an illusory feeling.  
  
"Kathryn?" She looked up at Chakotay.  
  
"Yes?" Her gentle voice rang out.  
  
I was looking over my own Personal logs the other day. I never realised just how dangerous you are. I mean you've done battle with; The Borg, Species 8472, the alien who invaded your brain, The Hirogen, The Kazon, The Viidians, Susperia... need me to go on?" He said smiling.  
  
"Is this leading any where?" She said, head on the back of her hand as she lent on the table.  
  
"Yes, most would think being with you is a dangerous occupation and on some levels, I agree with them. However, for me, I haven't had this much adventure and exploration. In some ways, it reminds me of books I read along time ago and for that, I thank you." He said, smiling at Kathryn in total admiration.  
  
"You don't need to thank me." She said, blushing as he waved his hand in dismissal of the idea.  
  
1 do, but the more serious of things I need to say is that with everything I have, I love you. So tonight, I wish to ask you a question I want you to think long and hard about, just not five years. I love you and wish to spend the rest of my life loving you within marriage, will you marry me?" The anticipation of response lay heavily in his voice and the surprise in her face was more than he could take.  
  
"I don't need to think, I've hoped for this day, especially from you. My answer is yes. With everything I have, yes!" The relief on his face was evident as she rose up from the table and rounded it. Facing her fiancée's face she lowered her head, raised his and kissed him passionately.  
  
The wedding was a small private affair, with just the senior officers in attendance. Chakotay however, spent the first part of the day pacing his room on the holodeck.  
  
"Chakotay, you'll wear a hole out in the carpet." Tom said, good naturally.  
  
I'm just worried and you wouldn't understand, you have never been married..., or have you?"  
  
Tom raised his eyebrows in shock at Chakotay's last comment. Did he really think he would be married and in a semi-stable relationship with B'Elanna (depending on her moods, he thought.)  
  
"Chakotay, is that one of your attempts at humour, because if it is, it was wide off the mark?" Paris said, feeling annoyed at his lack of tact.  
  
"Sorry. I'm just worried that she'll turn up and change her mind. I don't think I can take that." Chakotay admitted.  
  
"I do understand that, but she'd be a fool to pass up reliable, trust- worthy, considerate and loving for command again. And she knows that." Tom said, trying to reassure the insane.  
  
"Thanks. I just want the ceremony to be over with." Chakot id irn  
  
"I understand, this is just for the women-folk. God knows if it was down to us men there would be a whole lot less fuss, just simplicity at its finest." Tom said feeling a sympathy and dread that this event might give his fiery lover a few ideas, Tom felt himself more an elopement type of man that ritualistic torture.  
  
"Yeah, maybe, it's there for a reason, just can't think what one it is, but then again, I just can't think." Chakotay conceded.  
  
I think it's our time to go out and get with the quiet waiting, Sir." Tom said feeling it necessary to use his CO's official rank.  
  
"Yeah, I guess it is." Chakotay said taking a deep breath and put his best foot forward.  
  
The holodeck simulation was of a small church with clear windows, simple and unadorned. The seating for the guests was a little more plush than would have been ordinarily. Guests were aliowed a little less formality, Kathryn had wanted a traditional, non-military, wedding. They'd somehow managed to come up with a dual ceremony to accommodate Chakotay's herltage, and everything looked beautiful.  
  
Standing at the front of the church, Chakotay felt hawks attacking his stomach. Nerves had never been this bad for him, but then again, he'd never been marrled before. He definitely didn't understand how some people managed to do this more than once in a lifetime. He didn't have long to think about that thought, as soon the wedding march began.  
  
Naomi Wi was first out under the arch at the opposite end of the church, in her young hands was a basket of rose petals. Slowly she walked down the aisle liberally sprinkling rose petals. A minute or so went past and nerves began all over for Chakotay, he wondered if she was actually going to go through with it after all.  
  
Kathryn stood just before the arch, nausea attacking her, she never knew she had this trait in common with Charlie Brown's good, feathered, fnend Peanuts, her childhood was beginning to show through, she shrugged her shoulders, she didn't mind, so-long as she was able to communicate with her children someday. Holding her bouquet of petite roses, carnations and baby's breath in one hand, she smoothed down the sleek straight skirt of her wedding dress, this time there would be no fussiness of pleat stitches. Although she had been tempted to go with white, she had decided to go with a golden cloth that shimmered and was pale, it had reminded her of the colour of Earth's moon as seen by twentieth century astronomers. The colour also suited her complexion better, at the thought she raised her eyes skyward and cursed herself for such vanity.  
  
Her bodice was, as ever, form-fitting. There wasn't as much material with this dress as there had been with the dress on Barteda but this dress was equally as spectacular as that one. Her hair was exactly like the night she and Chakotay had affirmed their love for one another. Buns, she had decided, suited her. Looking in the mirror to her left she caught her reflection, her hair was in the same style as it had been eighteen months previously at the formal ball on Barteria, with the notable exception of baby's breath sprinkled haphazardly, she had however also coloured her hair a lighter shade of auburn something she hoped he liked it, The dress was plain and 'A' line, she looked every inch the bride.  
  
"1 think they're waiting for us." B'Elanna gently said, looking at the Captain. Kathryn shook away wild fleeting, thoughts and began to make her way down the aisle, stepping on the beautiful white, pink and red rose petals expertly strewn.  
  
Chakotay looked up from his position and took in a sharp breath, although simple, the dress was better than the ball gown she had worn eighteen months prior. If he had been winded by her presence then, he certainly didn't know what he was now.  
  
"Wow." Tom gently muttered under his breath, it was enough to change his mind altogether about weddings.  
  
Chakotay couldn't say a thing. Although his mouth was moving, vocalisation ceased to occur.  
  
As Kathryn got to the alter she turned and whispered, "Better than the last dress?" Chakotay stared smiling, he'd earnt this day. Patience had won out, as had well placed words. Chakotay couldn't help but take her hand as they stood in front of Tuvok who would be presiding over the occasion, he was their highest ranking officer.  
  
The senior officers circled around the couple and stood patiently whilst the traditional vows were taken, Chakotay had rallied for the more traditional approach of Kathryn's Irish-American ancestry than his own. He satisfied his own sense of disappointment with the fact that, if, they ever had any children he would have the audacity to ask if he could name their first-born. When Kathryn had heard this she had laughed, claiming it was a new spin on the old Rumplestiltskin. Chakotay hadn't likened well to the comparison, but could see her point of view.  
  
The ceremony was quick and simple, the reception on the other-hand was elaborate and rich in decor. Neelix had surpassed himself and the mess-hall was fairy-tale in splendour. From the ceiling hung deep purple and rich red fabrics mimicking those of the Arabs of long-ago, the usual square tables used so often during the day had been replaced with circular tables and covered with golden table-cloths.  
  
Neelix had managed to beat them to the mess-hall and was already assembling the food, simple fare admittedly, not a thing was spicy and anything that looked like meat wasn't. Neelix wasn't stupid, this however was his last formal occasion on board voyager. Although he hadn't told the captain and commander yet, he was planning on rejoining those of his own kind. He had enjoyed his stay and allegiance with the Humans, half-Klingon, Vulcans, Bajorans and odd Bolians, not to mention reformed Borg. This day would forever remain deep in his heart as on of the best events he had managed to pull off.  
  
But he felt he needed some companionship, something he hadn't received since his time with Kes, someone who had probably departed her spectrum of the mortal coil. His sadness at this deepened the more he thought of it and so he turned his mind to ensuring the happiness of the captain and commander. Ushering them towards their bench table he showed them their seats and gave them beverages of their choosing.  
  
Seven entered the mess-hall with the rest of the guests and was startled by the vibrancy and glorious nature of the spectacle before her. 'Red, I used to appreciate red deeply, no, not appreciate, like, I used to like red.' Her nervousness showed, Kathryn believed, in her inarticulacy. 'It is beautiful here, I like here, it looks better like this than as a Spartan affair that it usually is.' Her parting comment left her breathless and more than a little surprised, that was not the usually "efficient Seven she was used to hearing. Seven walked the room several times checking name places and found no mention of her presence. Disappointment tinged her face and she began to make her way to the exit.  
  
Seeing this Kathryn gently placed her hand on Chakotay's shoulder, "Excuse me, we have a wonderina lamb." At which she stood uo and moved towards sevens departinq figure.  
  
"Seven? Where are you going?"  
  
Seven turned and faced the captain, tears streaming down her face, "No-one invited me to the reception, and I couldn't find any mention of my name anywhere." Seven was feeling aggrieved by this and embarrassed. She felt ashamed that someone she had considered her friend didn't seem to consider her one too.  
  
Kathryn smiled and walked over to her friend and surrogate daughter, "Seven, you were invited, of that I can assure you of. In fact I have seen your name place, it's beside mine, all bridesmaids sit on the head table, unless there are too many to fit."  
  
Seven looked up at Kathryn and saw the familial love that she had inadvertently been looking for since her break away from the collective. She smiled and looked up to Kathryn and mouthed the words needed lbr the situation.  
  
"What was aD that about, you were gone for over ten minutes. I was starting to get lonely." Chakotay joked, a smile spreading across his face and showing that it wasn't a case of possessiveness.  
  
"Seven couldn't find her seating arrangement, I think she felt a little 'out of the loop'. I can't blame her, I should have told her about how bridesmaids happen to sit with the bride on the head table. I always knew I'd make a small idiotic mistake like that." Kathryn said.  
  
The next few hours flew by in a daze for B'Elanna, her mind raced at the thoughts that flew in her mind. In her minds eye she could see her and Tom doing the same thing that the Captain and Commander had just done. Espying Tom she made her way to his seat at the buffet table and joined him.  
  
"Evening, ma'am! And what can I do you for?" He gazed up at his lover with a cheeky grin, he knew that deep down she appreciated the seniority her rank over him gave her.  
  
"Ensign, and how are we tonight?" She continued the ruse. Subconsciously she brushed her fingers through her hair. She felt so... out of place. Was she ever going to feel a part of the crew at these social events. Occasionally she admitted to herself she felt that with certain members of the crew she felt comfortable, but most of them had just got married. So much for that idea then. Looking at her lover, she saw nothing but questions written across his face. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"  
  
"Nothing of any significance tonight." Tom said smiling, a plan already forming in his mind; he'd seen the way she'd looked at Chakotay and Kathryn all day. Oh yes a plan was already forming. 


End file.
